A knife through the heart…and through the head, leg, arm, and any body part within sight. Every Valentine’s Day for the past two years, a crazed maniac who has been dubbed the “Heart Eyes Killer” (HEK for short) terrorizes couples who happen to be out and about. Armed with a massive machete and razor sharp steel arrows fashioned in the style of Cupid, the masked malevolence with hearts where the eyes are has left a bloody mess behind in Boston and Philadelphia.

In the Emerald City of Seattle, it’s Valentine’s Day and marketing professional Ally (Olivia Holt) has turned jaded on the subject of love after choosing to break up with her ex, of whom she still stalks on Instagram. The jadedness has bled into her marketing ad she’s created, which is an unmitigated disaster online. Likely to get canned for it, her boss appoints the handsome Jay (Mason Gooding) a contractor to lead a new strategy while Ally rides out her contract. Wouldn’t be so bad, except the two had a cute but awfully awkward exchange at a coffee shop. Wanting to understand the campaign before launching into reconstructing it, Jay invites Allie to dinner. The two learn more about each other and their dinner even leads to a spontaneous kiss. But while not a couple, it sure looks that way, which means the Heart Eyes Killer has its arrows pointed towards striking these two down.

Straightforward slasher movies are the McDonald’s/Burger King of the horror genre. Yeah, there are better, more “elevated” flicks out there that can scare more effectively and comment on society, but sometimes, you just want a basic, uncomplicated burger that hits the spot. Off the grill comes Heart Eyes, a movie I didn’t know about until a few week’s back. But with a complementary blend of comedy and killer horror folded into an overarching romance, it’s a early 2025 surprise.

Comedian and director Josh Ruben has married the funny with the bloodshed for many features now, and Heart Eyes is no different. His opening scene sets the tone for what audiences are in for, segueing into a chase through a warehouse and a gruesome denouement. Ruben has a lot of fun with the kills; while this isn’t a movie where bodies are dropping every 5 to 10 minutes, the bodies that do drop are done so in over-the-top ways. The scares—if you want to call them that—are your predictable jumpy fake-outs, functional but obviously not atmospheric.

The crimson flows, but Heart Eyes is best consumed by looking at it as a rom-com first and horror second. Writers Christopher Landon, Phillip Murphy, and Michael Kennedy are quite interested with the embarrasing meet cute, the pitfalls of finding romance in today’s society, and how sharing experiences—however horrific they are—can create notable bonds and memories. The trio of writers have created a solidly paced story, but miss on the whodunit aspect. Inspired by the Screams and I Know What You Did Last Summers of the world, what those films get right is having enough characters to believably be killers. In the case of Heart Eyes, there simply aren’t enough people to wear the mask, and by the midpoint of runtime even the most novice of slasher viewers are likely to pick out the culprits.

While the mystery may be nonexistent, the chemistry between Holt and Gooding isn’t. The two riff off each other well and are convincing as budding lovers. For Holt, it’s great to see her run with the opportunity to co-lead after doing so well in a role that asked her to do a lot in the piecemeal Cruel Summer. For Gooding, it continues his ascent as someone who profiles as a leading man, and it should be interesting to see what his next projects consist of. Onetime teen heartthrobs Jordana Brewster and Devon Sawa appear as law enforcement officers “Hobbs” and “Shaw.” The connection their characters have with the Fast & Furious spinoff beyond Brewster’s name is nil, but this duo is serviceable as the useless cops typically found in these movies.

Heart Eyes certainly wears its heart on its sleeve with the movies it’s been inspired by. Juggling both lovey-duveyness courtesy of its well-matched leads and old school slasher leanings, Heart Eyes is delicious fun, even for the most cynical of Valentine’s Day oriented content.

B–

Photo credits go to impawards.com, screenrant.com, and comicbook.com.